A Parent’s Guide to Encouraging Independent Play

Do you have trouble working from home because your kids cling to you? Do they complain that they’re constantly bored when you have an important Zoom meeting to attend?

Being a special needs parent presents many challenges, and working is absolutely one of them. Many moms opt to leave the workforce altogether, some can’t and choose to work from home. I have done both. It’s not easy. Working from home is challenging enough, then add children to the mix, especially one with special needs, and challenging will start to feel like damn near impossible.

I had worked from home for a couple of years before Jason was born. I started working remotely in 2004 when my youngest at the time was my son Justin, and he was 4-years old. He has ADHD, but we did not know this at the time. And he was a handful. He thought that since mommy was home typing things on a computer, well we had time to go to the park, the store, to the beach, and so on and so forth. By the endo of my first full week of working from home, I felt like I had made a huge mistake and I wouldn’t be able to do it.

Teaching Justin to keep himself busy was the solution. I enjoyed more peace and productivity and, more importantly, Justin developed important life skills while he had fun playing on his own.

This kind of transformation required some practice. It was even more challenging teaching Jason these skills, but I had the help an amazing behavior and occupational therapist at the time. I often called them the dynamic duo whenever they worked with Jason in a session together.

Follow This Guide to Encouraging Independent Play

Benefits of Independent Play:

1. Build Confidence

Let your child tackle manageable challenges and try to overcome obstacles on their own. With each new accomplishment, they will learn to believe in themselves and in their abilities.

2. Support Learning

Television can be educational, but active learning definitely has its advantages. Children tend to pay attention longer, retain more information, and strengthen their cognitive skills.

3. Inspire Creativity

Imaginative play is fundamental to your child’s development. It will help them to solve problems, tolerate uncertainty, and collaborate with others.

4. Reduce Stress

Your child needs quiet time too. Independent play gives your child a chance to tap into their inner resources while you take care of other responsibilities.

Encouraging Independent Play:

1. Progress Gradually

Introduce solo play a little at a time. Depending on their age and personality, your child might start with 10-minute sessions and gradually work their way up.

2. Remain Accessible

Your child will probably be more cooperative if you stay close by. Check in on them frequently or let them know when you’re available for interruptions.

3. Minimize Directions

Let your child take the lead instead of telling them how to play. Maybe they want to treat their dolls to backyard barbecues instead of tea parties.

4. Make a List

On the other hand, your child might appreciate some ideas. Brainstorm things they can do on their own like playing cards and jumping rope.

5. Design a Safe Space

Create a childproof play area where kids can explore freely. Otherwise, you might cramp their style.

6. Provide appropriate toys

To avoid frustration, pick games and toys that are suited to your child’s age and abilities. It’s okay for them to be a little challenging.

7. Avoid overstimulation

Children can feel overwhelmed if they have too many toys to choose from. Rotate the collection to keep things interesting. See what happens when they take a break from electronic toys to make up their own uses for cardboard boxes.

8. Offer rewards

Give your child credit for making an effort. Praise them for playing on their own. Share a special activity together after they’ve been amusing themselves for a while.

9. Maximize quality time

It may also help to pay extra attention to your child before you leave them on their own. Read a bedtime story together and then give them the book to look through by themselves before they fall asleep.

10. Create daily routines

Children thrive on consistency and structure. Make independent play a part of your daily activities. They’ll get used to managing on their own when you’re attending video conference calls or doing the laundry.

11. Be flexible

On the other hand, there will be times when you’ll need to adapt. Most children go through stages when they need more attention and comfort temporarily. It often happens during stressful events or major changes like a new baby or going back to school in the fall.

12. Schedule playdates

Socializing with other kids instead of parents can also count as independent play. Help your child to make friends and play well with others. You can balance spending time with your kids and giving them room to rely on themselves. Independent play makes parenting easier and more effective. You gain more time for yourself, and your children learn how to become happy and resilient adults.